DELIBERATE

Dear God,

I just want to say that I’m grateful for the little wins I’ve experienced in my life. The big wins are coming, I know it, I feel it. But while I’m waiting for them to come I’m eager to get my gear ready in preparation.

I don’t want to be caught unawares when it comes, so yes I am trusting the process, YOUR process. I’m ready to follow your path, let me walk with You.

I’m grateful for my data subscription which I finally did after some time, it might seem irrelevant but thank you. 

Four years ago, I made the decision to talk to you about every thing concerning me. I’ve always known You, accepted You and believed in You, but that day in 2014 when I was feeling so hurt, powerless and heartbroken, I sat on the floor of the bathroom and I cried, and I said ‘God please, I don’t want to experience any form of pain from anyone, anything, any circumstance, any where. If there is anyone in the future who is going to cause me any form of pain and disappointment, please find a way to take them out of my life, I never want to know them. Just please. I can’t handle it, I can’t, I’m tired, please I’m tired, I’m just tired’ I said repeatedly. 
And from then till now, you’ve kept our pact. My gist partner. From daily gossips about how I was disobedient to you to little whispers of ‘Come, this lecture won’t hold o’ to ‘God abeg you know I need clothes now, how far nah?’ 

You make a way when there is no way.

When I gave my life to you in 2012, I could hear whispers everytime in my ear, it was a daily conversation. I could be walking and smiling to myself just gisting with you, can you imagine you even told me things people would tell me even before they approach me. Which kain spy you be sef? 

But then I withdrew from You, I made excuses with school stress and irrelevancies. I spent more time thinking about my unproductivity instead of just talking with You. I broke our bond.

I’m not going to lie, I felt empty. I mean I know I love and fear You, You are my real G and at the same time my Father and also my Bro, but what’s with the emptiness? 

Please I want you back.

At some point, I started to Google ‘Must every Christian speak in tongues?’, because I thought somethinf was wrong with me, I couldn’t speak in tongues. I’ve tried-ish. I heard it would come naturally, like you’d just see your lips moving on its own.  I think the first time I almost spoke in tongues was at a music concert in school, I was scared. I felt I would sound weird, and my mind kept telling me ‘maybe it wasn’t real, you’re a  fake’. So I literally swallowed it in and just continue my worship.

But in November 2017, I finally did.

I wrote the date down, I told my parents, my sisters. I was so excited. You haven’t completely left me after all. You’re still with me. Nothing is wrong with me, I’m your masterpiece, you assured me of that

Every thing about me and my life is intentional and deliberate, not a coincidence. I am perfect and excellent, in you. It’s not fate, it’s your divine plan. Everything I need you have offered to me on a platter of gold and told me to have a seat at the table. You called me and said ‘You have earned a seat at the table just by existing’. 

My life and purpose have been perfected by You from the onset, I’m just living it all out. In prayers and supplication, I have made my requests known to you and everytime you giggle and remind me that I already have it. ‘Just thank me’, you s Lol. You’re such a cool dad. Trying to remind me of my manners.

For my family, friends, health, thank you. For the right connections which you’ve brought to me, thank you. For that my last 200 naira I gave that stranger that day and got back in 10 folds, thank you. For safe journeys during my random trips, Thank You. For finding shuttle early on time today, Thank You. I for miss Mr. Etus class today. For those random tweets for opportunities appearing on my Timeline, Thank You. For letting me be a source of encouragement to others, Thank You. And for helping me get over my occasional depression, Thank You. 

Thank You Dad, Thank you. I love you.

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On to the next one. Yay!

Couple of days back, I rounded up my 2nd semester exams which also marked the end of a session. A veeeryyyyy long session and year. We started a new session in December 2016 and with the way the school calender was set up for the year, a new session was to start around October. Eiish! I was so excited you guys.

Continue reading “On to the next one. Yay!”

COMPLETING MY DAYS OF GRATITUDE.

“And still, after all this time, The sun never says to the earth, ‘You owe me’. Look what happens with a love like that, it lights the whole sky” Hafez

Finally I have decided to complete this, as I have been procrastinating for quite a while now. I felt a stronger urge to complete this after a fellow blogger and colleague in school (aladyandlife.blogspot.com) tagged me on a post on Facebook where she wrote that she wanted to share hers. I felt really disappointed in myself for not completing mine, and on the other hand proud too, that I inspired her to start hers. Continue reading “COMPLETING MY DAYS OF GRATITUDE.”