Choosing Life. Again.

Trusting God for things I don’t understand.

Believing a higher power for a miracle I know nothing about.

Having faith that there’s something bigger waiting for me that I am completely ignorant about.

‘Early nights’, late mornings trying not to cry myself to sleep. Back to sleep that is.

Almost as though I do not understand where I am in life, or with life.

Two decades in the next couple of months and I’m neither of the things I thought I’d be. Or where I thought I’d be.

Slowly, it is getting to me. Oh, it’s starting to hurt.

But then, there’s only one constant in my life.

When it seems like nothing makes sense.

When it seems like I’m in a black hole, not even a tunnel because at least with that there might be some hope.

When it seems like I’m stagnant, or my life is stagnant. And it feels like I can’t do nothing. Like I can’t achieve shit. 

There’s only one person I can believe in. And that’s God.  He is the constant. The actual plug of life. Literally the entire electrical set, all wires, cables, switch, the actual essence of life and living.

I know that after I haven’t written in a while, everyone expects some poetic stuff with super deep  rhymes and stuff. But at this point, I don’t care.

At least I’m writing Again.
And I feel free, liberated. Happy. More hopeful. I’m choosing life. Again. Believing God. Always.

Ciao!!!!!
Love xx 💕💕💕

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I love going to church.

I love stealing secret glances at him, with the corner of my eyes.

I don’t know if it feels right to juxtapose these two feelings but that is how I feel.

There is something unexplainable about it . Awkward feelings and emotions that makes it mysterious, and that makes me want more.

And more.